Dear Diary,

Another happy weekend was over. Well, with my mother's assistance, I could escape from the "jail" again. This time, I watched a movie (Corpse Bride) with my husband. Maybe some of you know it already, I really love watching animation. Two weeks before I watched Wallace and Gromit, and this week the Corpse Bride. And I learned that there will be another animation soon. It's about a little chicken. That's exactly my cup of tea. Since I love chicken (not eating them, but treating them as friends or cute little creatures), and I fancy animation. Thus, I must find time to watch it.

Now, I am having a countdown. It's one month from now for my return to MSC. My emotion is a bit complicated. On one hand I feel happy and excited, 'cos I can go back to work and see my students (I can continue torturing my students with boring lectures and loads of assignments). On the other hand I feel worried as my little angel has to be taken care by a domestic helper. I definitely will miss her when I'm not seeing her. To be honest, when I was enjoying the romance with my husband outside the "jail", I was missing my girl. What a contradiction! Well, life is full of dilemmas and contradictions. Now, only time can tell whether I can be a decent mother and a good teacher at the same time. I hope I am.

 Recently, as I have lots of free time, I keep browsing the blog entries of my studnets. I found that most of the students have a very different "face" when they are outside school. From their entries, I understand them more. I am glad to know that. It seems that quite a lot of them are puzzled by interpersonal relationship (including romantic relationship). That's natural. I am not encouraging my students to start dating, but, you know, when you grow up in a society which is full of concerns about romantic relationship, you just can't escape from enaging in it (both voluntarily and involuntarily). However, I would like to make a point here. Don't let your imagination drives you crazy. There are some cases in which you "imagine" someone is in love with or fancying you, but the truth is he/she is just a close FRIEND of yours. Then, this will create tonnes of troubles. I think the best way to handle this situation is to let time reveal the truth. If there is potential for further development, the relationship won't fade out. Otherwise, no matter what you do, there is no result. Sometimes, the more you do, the farther you drive that person away. That's really tragic. Thus, the conclusion is LET IT BE. If it is, then it is. If it is not, then it is not. So what will I do if I face this kind of situation? I will try my best to "polish" myself. To make myself look tidier and more attractive. To study harder (since most people like to have someone who can take good care of himself/herself to be their partner). In other words, to make yourself glow. Then, if the person is interested in you, they will take some "action". If not, you know the answer and should stop giving yourself false hope.

Dear Diary,

Time flies! A week has gone since my last entry. Well, looking after a baby is really tiring. But when you see her weight goes up and observe that she knows how to play with her toy bear, it's worthwhile.

Today I took her to the clinic to have vaccination for hepatitis B. At first I was very worried, since I was afraid that my girl would cry without a break after the injection. My worry was doubled when I was sitting at the waiting room. Every baby who came out of the injection room cried like a thunderstorm. Surprisingly, when my girl got the injection, she just cried out loud for a second or two, then she became quiet again. Amazing!!! Maybe, she could feel my anxiety and tried to comfort me that way. Thanks god.

Recently, I have talked to some students who are in my classes this year. Most of them are worried about their English result in the first exam. Well, no matter it's the teacher or the subject itself, I think getting a good result depends on one's effort and strong will. Just remember, as long as you want to get a good result, you shouldn't blame anything. You should ask yourself whether you have done your job. The best way for success is setting a goal and put in all your efforts to achieve it. Your fate is in your hand, not the others'. Work hard and good luck.

I'll be back soon. If you have any questions or difficulties, don't panic. I will try my very best to help in the second term. Trust me, with your determination and my participation, you can overcome every hurdle.

Dear Diary,

Well, I didn't log on for the past three days since I was very busy. On Friday evening, a group of my best colleagues came to visit me and my girl. It's so good to see them during my captivity. It made me feel like I am still in a real world. I must show my greatest gratitude to them. Not only did they bring me back to the reality, but also gave me two more packs of diapers! Talking about diapers, I think most of us (except those who are mothers or maybe fathers) don't know that the expenses of a baby can be enormous! It costs me around 300 dollars for her diapers and milk powder for a 10-day period. This is a small lump sum. The most expensive is her furniture and doctor fees. So, for those who want to have a baby, please make sure you have enough saving in your bank account. It's really an investment.

Saturday is a "holiday" for my husband and me. It's a real escape. My mum agreed to take care of my girl for an afternoon, so my husband and I went for a movie -- Wallace and Gromit. The film is fantastic! I love these characters very much. Of course, the popcorn and the iced lemon tea are great too. The most wonderful is my husband's company. With him, doing the most boring thing is never boring (sweet sweet....he he he). After the movie, he gave me a big surprise -- he took me to a new coffee shop in Festival Walk (it's called Cova). Wow, I hadn't tasted a sip of coffee since my pregnancy. So, it just felt like heaven -- a cup of Mocha and my husband. What a day!

Sunday originally was a family day for we three (on weekdays, my mother-in-law, father-in-law and a domestic helper are always around in my house). However, suddenly me brother and mother wanted to pay a visit to us. So, the house was full of people again. Of course, I still did something with my husband and girl to make the day a real family day. We two took our girl to the garden of our estate to have a little "walk". Well, maybe our girl "over"-enjoyed the fresh air and the birds' singing, she felt asleep when we were in the garden. Anyway, it's the first family day we had since her birth. It's a sweet memory in our mind.

Just before I end the entry today, I would like to thank the guy who invented blog. With blog, I keep in touch with my old friends and students. It's really great to see comments from them. Ah yes, some feedback to some of my students.

Lovisa, don't give up your studies. The HKCE syllabuses are much more demanding than the junior form's one. Just keep going, sooner or later you will get used to it and when you first overcome one of the difficulties, you will at once get the energy and motivation to defeat all the other hurdles. I trust you can do it, so you shouldn't lose confidence in yourself.

Jeffrey, it's good to see your agression in English. Don't lose your mind. You can achieve the thing that you target at. You are this kind of "warrior"! If you really want to get to Leval 5*, I think you need to focus on your spoken English. Since in the classroom and at home, we Hong Kongers seldom have a chance to communicate in English. And as you see, spoken English is now taking a more important role in HKCEE (Paper III and SBA), so training your spoken English is crucial. How? Think loud when you are alone (maybe during bathing, before dreaming). Speak your mind loudly in English when you are alone. It can really help to train the proficiency. Also, make learning English the prime interest of your life. Whenever you get into contact with English, pay 100% attention to it. Make yourself into a beast, a hungry beast which swallows every piece of English information you encounter. Hope you get some inspiration here and success won't be far from you.

Dear Diary,

It's really encouraging to see all the comments from MSC students. Now, I can feel that I'm not alone, and, more importantly, I am still a part of MSC not a DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE (though I don't like this series of soap opera, it's name really tells the truth)!

From some of the comments, I can see that a lot of MSC students are interested in how my baby girl looks like. Well, the forehead and the eyes are from my husband's family, while the nose, the mouth and her chin are from my side. I don't know if she is a real beauty. But it doesn't matter, as far as she's my girl, she's an apple in my eye. I take her photos every day, and I will pick the best to make them into an album. I promise I will show the album to my best students (that is, those who care about me) when I come back. The day for my return is 14 Dec. At that time, you guys will be having your first examination. I hope you still have the mood to look at the album.

Today I wanna share some of my thoughts during my "captivity" at home. (I call this period "captivity" 'cos I AM NOT ALLOWED to leave home during the first month after my delivery. You know, the kind of Chinese customs). Anyway, I am not going to comment on some of the ridiculous customs today. What I am going to share is the feeling of being a full-time mother. I think it's really a hard job, especially for a woman who is used to be socially active (that's me). Just imagine, the minute you open your eyes in the morning you are "imprisoned" in the house, doing all kinds of household chores, and taking care of your baby (babies are very dependent and demanding, they need your attention almost every single minute). You don't have co-workers around you to tell you some gags. No one to argue with you (e.g. some naughty students). The only listener is your baby who still doesn't know how to communicate with you with words. Sometimes, I start to query whether I am consuming my youth in an inappropriate way. I received lots of education, and I am educated to be a teacher. I should be doing some "meaningful" things in classrooms. Now, I am just sitting in front of the window (or TV) to nurse my baby. When I am at this point of thought, I begin to feel sorry for all the full-time housewives. In my case, my captivity just lasts for about two months, but for them, it may be their whole life. The only social activity may be chatting with other "desperate" housewives when they are buying food in the market. The most important point is they don't have salary. Their financial source all comes from their husband. To me, this is the biggest punishment, since I don't have my freedom to spend money on whatever I like. Oh, good heavens. The conclusion of this thought is MOTHERS ARE THE GREATEST PRISONERS ON EARTH. Let us always remember their sacrifice, and be nice to all the full-time mothers around you.

Dear Diary,

Finally, I can squeeze some time to write again. I would not have believed that being a mother is a really tough task if I had not been one. Since the birth of my baby girl (yes, she's a girl. Congratulations to all the little boys, there is one more beauty on earth, he he...), I have less and less sleep at night. Every night, I have to wake up at least three times to feed my baby. Don't think that nursing a baby is an easy task. You need to leave your warm bed, go out to the cold kitchen, get the sterilized milk bottle, fetch water and milk powder, shake the milk in a gentle way (it's really impossible when you are very sleepy and just want to throw away the bottle and collapse to continue dreaming), test the milk temperature, hold your struggling baby in arm, feed her the milk (this is the most difficult part, 'cos she always falls asleep after she has sucked the teat for a minute or two), wake her up again, and at last pat her on the back to avoid burps. Believe it or not, the whole process takes around an hour! Now, you see why Mother's Day is celebrated more seriously than Father's Day.

Before I left school for my maternity leave, I always thought that being a full-time teacher was already the most frustrating and tiring job. Now, I changed my thought. Being a full-time mother is much more demanding and depressing. Well, I would like to salute to all the mothers in this world (of course, including me!) I really miss my teaching job and all my students.

Talking about my students, I am thinking of F.2A all the time. Even though I am away from school at the moment, I still read the news from e-class every day, so I know there are some new arrangements of the reading period and the roll call system (the new computer system). I don't know if 2A students can handle all the new things. For F.4A and F.4C students, I hope they are working seriously in their English lessons. I am wondering how they do in the SBA. Beside all these students, I also miss the students who were in F.3A two years ago and F.3B, F.5A and F.5E last year. How are you guys? Talk to me through xanga, ok?

I do hope I can read your comments soon. Good day.